Fuck! I Have To Hang Out With My High School Friends Even More?

After spending an excruciating four years with my high school friends, I was excited to be on Penn’s campus. I was looking forward to making a new group of friends, meeting new people, and making new connections and relationships. 

I already had to endure my high school friends since the beginning of March, and I thought I was going to be all over when the fall semester started. But no! When Penn announced that spring would be virtual, I flipped my desk over because it means that I’d have to hang out with fucking Dan even more.

They all say that college has changed them. Yeah right. The only thing that has changed is an increase in fast-food spurred acne, an increase in general overconfidence, and an increase in the number of hickeys in questionable places. 

No, Dan, I do not want to come to your hot tub party with Kayla and Karen. I don’t care how much Corona beer you have.