Impressive! This Student Is Fulfilling Their Language Requirement By Talking Shit About Their Housemate

Impressive! This Student Is Fulfilling Their Language Requirement By Talking Shit About Their Housemate

Kayla Smith (E ‘23) has decided that she doesn’t want to speak French, she wants to talk shit--specifically about her housemate, Melanie. “Thanks to the new Talking Shit department, I have SHIT 110 every M-F at 11 AM!” says Kayla, excitedly. 

She explains that SHIT 110 goes over basic vocabulary you’ll need to talk shit about your roommate: staple adjectives such as “bitchy” and important verbs like “to sexile.” “I heard SHIT 120 will focus on the past, present and future tense--for example Melanie puked in my bed, Melanie is puking in my bed, and Melanie will puke in my bed tonight.” To get the certificate of completion, you need to be able to tell a one-minute story about a time your roommate was the absolute worst that demonstrates your proficiency in shit-talking. “I’m telling my story about how Melanie never took out the trash and left her window open and since we were on the first floor a possum came into our room and she wanted to keep it as a pet. I hope I pass!” 

Kayla reported that she ultimately believes that being proficient in talking shit about her housemate will serve her much more than other languages like Spanish or Chinese. “I know so many people who talk shit about their housemate on this campus, and I want to be able to connect with them and adequately express how much Melanie sucks.” 

“Language is a beautiful way to connect with others, and I can’t wait to use my linguistic skills to tell the world how much of an absolute bitch my housemate is.”