Penn Offers New Option for Students Who Cannot Live at Home: Euthanasia

Penn’s recent announcement to suspend all on-campus housing was met with a great deal of shock. Many students relied on University campus infrastructure and community for their fall academic plans. Students cited various resources missing from their home environment that would hinder their studies: a reliable WiFi connection, a quiet workspace, and a plug. During this time of uncertainty, one thing is certain; for some students, an at-home college experience is impossible.

Around 15 petitions were pushed out by the student body in response to concerns about at-home learning. Some petitions urged Penn to expand their housing capacity for underprivileged students. Other petitions demanded Penn provide completely subsidized domus penthouses for Penn students who don’t really “vibe” with their parents.

President Amy Gutmann recently met with the board of Academic Student Services (ASS) and offered a unique approach to dealing with the crisis of at-home learning. Her recent email announcement details the option being rolled out.

“We hear you. We understand you. We stand by you. If you can’t live at home during the fall semester, why live at all?”

All students, graduate and undergraduate, will have the opportunity to be euthanized through lethal injection as an alternative for online, off-campus learning. While the ASS committee is still determining the cost and timeline of enrolling in this program, we will keep you informed on any developments.