Penn Frosh Excited to Thrive at Penn in Pain at Home

Incoming frosh have been gearing up for the semester at home this past week. They’ve involved themselves with a plethora of online NSO events and only slightly awkward Zoom meetings with other freshmen desperate for a social life. Despite the semester being held entirely online, the main goal of the Penn Administration for these new students remains the same: Thrive At Penn. The critically acclaimed Canvas module and freshman year mantra are still ever present, even for this unusual fall semester. 

When asked about their favorite aspect of NSO this year, students gave varying responses ranging from the excitement of logging into their official Penn email to the ever memorable virtual campus tour. “So what if I’m stuck at home with overbearing parents, shitty wifi, and the inability to go beyond my backyard? I’m still going to be thriving in this new college environment,” commented Sarah Ehlters (C ‘24) with a forced smile. “Everything’s gonna be just fine. Better than fine actually. Fantastic. I can’t think of any other way I’d want to spend my first semester.” Unfortunately, we were unable to catch the rest of her comments during the call as she broke down crying, eventually followed by faint screaming.