Fast Fashion? Zara Order Taking a Little Too Long to Arrive

It's 2020, and people have become privy to the abuses and exploitation of the fast fashion industry. Huge clothing corporations crank out new pieces of clothing to keep up with current fashion trends, resulting in gross consumerism and waste. They also rely on unethical labor practices to mass-produce said clothing for dirt cheap so that girls like me can sit at their desk and alternate between online shopping and texting. But I have one question for you: if fast fashion is so "fast," then why am I still waiting for my Zara order to arrive?

Four days ago, my little thumbs moved at the speed of light, tapping away on the Zara for iPhone app. By the time I had enough mock-neck oatmeal-colored knit sweaters in my cart to dress a small village, I pressed "submit order" and let the thrill of being a walking contradiction (a socialist who loves to purchase) wash over me. By the time that rush subsided, I let the waiting commence. 

But then one day became two and two became three, and I thought to myself, "this ain't so fast, is it?" I will admit that there is so much going on right now. There is a little virus going around and we are witnessing the fall of American democracy as we know it. But shouldn't they understand that that is all the more reason for my monochrome embroidered sweatshirt + sweatpant athleisure set to arrive at the speed of light? 

Days on end I have spent somberly staring out the window, my feminine passions lit ablaze by the sight of anyone resembling a delivery man. I am a very, very busy woman. And I don't have time to waste staring at UPS my choice for updates on my shipment. I was promised fashion, and I was promised it fast, so why don't you give it to me?!