Meal Prep! 10 Ways to Roast Your Veggies
- Squash, your portraits are so ugly that they hang themselves.
- The smartest thing that ever came out of your mouth, broccoli, was a penis.
- Asparagus, are you a dentist who doesn’t recommend Colgate toothpaste? Because you’re a 1/10.
- Cabbage, you are so far up your own ass that you can lick your tonsils.
- Hey carrots - yo mama so slutty that they used to call them jumpolines until she jumped on one.
- Fuck you, brussel sprouts, you actual pieces of shit - just fuck you.
- Sweet potatoes, you have miles to go before you reach mediocre.
- Avocados, even the thought of roasting you literally disgusts me.
- Don’t be ashamed of who you are, zucchini. That’s your parents’ job.
- Mushrooms, the only way you’ll ever get laid is to crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.
