None of Our Articles As Funny as Four Seasons Total Landscaping Debacle

Yesterday’s news cycle was packed to the brim with news stories, and one that we at UTB feel didn’t get enough recognition is the shenanigans that went down at Four Seasons Total Landscaping. Yesterday morning, President Trump tweeted that his team would be holding an event at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia. Half an hour later, he clarified that it would actually be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping instead, a garden service center sandwiched between and adult bookshop and a crematorium. 

Now I have so many questions here. Did they try and book the Four Seasons and get turned down? Did a staffer call Total Landscaping thinking it was the Four Seasons? Did the employee who picked up the phone know what the deal was? Was this press conference part of a political game of 3D chess designed to live in my head rent free for the next three months? Because if so oh boy it worked I literally have not stopped thinking about this story for the last 24 hours. 

There is literally nothing else for me to add to make the situation funnier than it is. There is no way for me to parody it in a way that adds satirical value. Instead, I just cackle at every new tweet I see that reminds me that this event took place. 

Sure, November 7th 2020 might have been the day that Joe Biden was projected to be the next president of the United States. But it was also the day Rudy Giuliani, the former MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY, stood in a parking lot in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping and seemingly contemplated how his life ended up here.