Presidential Election, Who? Damn, No One Told Me That Was Yesterday

Oh, Election Day was yesterday? That’s so awkward. I had literally had no idea. I can’t believe anyone expected me to remember when it was also a national holiday yesterday: Kendall Jenner’s birthday. 

I really feel like society let me down. If I had just received:

• 12 more updates from Penn Leads the Vote
• 11 more flyers shoved in my mailbox
• 10 more texts from Power the Polls, “I am voter” and Biden-Harris H-Q
• 9 more calls from phone banks asking who I’m voting for
• 8 more reminders from my parents
• 7 more notifications about Uber discounts on Election Day
• 6 more suspiciously non-partisan political statements from my professor
• 5 more Instagram videos of celebrities virtue signalling
• 4 more “Go Vote! And are you still DTF?”  texts from that guy that ghosted me last semester
• 3 more kisses on the mouth from Hillary Clinton
• 2 more Facetimes from Joe Biden himself
• And even 1 shred of common sense.

What a shame Trump might win Pennsylvania on a razor thin margin. If only people had gone out and done the work… reminding me to vote.