US President Elected Peacefully and Democratically

After an orderly and uneventful election process, the next president of the United States was elected without violent public response. Despite encouragement from the president, white supremacist groups chose not to watch the polls. “It just wasn’t the democratic thing to do,” said Neo Nashi, an avid white supremacist. “Flying Confederate flags is one thing, but intimidating others from exercising their democratic right is crossing the line.”

Instead, many white supremacist groups wholeheartedly decided to guard a group of peaceful left-wing protesters from police brutality. “Our whole thing with our militia is preventing a police state,” said Nashi. “If police officers are beating up peaceful protesters, that’s where we step in. We will not let police tread on our fellow Americans.”

When the election winner was announced, critics of the President-elect accepted the results with grace and poise. “Although the winner is not my pick, I respect the outcome of the democratic process,” said critic Rand Omguy. “I trust that this is what America wants.”

Not expecting riots as a result of the election, businesses have chosen to not board up their windows, continuing the unbroken legacy of businesses not needing to board up their windows for an election. “When my presidential candidate lost the race, I didn’t feel the need to smash windows, block highways, or assassinate the president-elect,” said Omguy. “I just accepted it.”