Don't Mind the Bubonic Boils, I Have a Green PennOpen Pass

How am I, you ask? 

I have caught Covid 7 different times and have not once tested negative since March 13th. I have blood dripping from my eyeballs in quarts everyday. Skin is peeling from my body like a molting lizard. My innards are flammable. I no longer process time and lack depth perception. I have lost three toes in three separate knife throwing accidents. I frequently find giant chunks of hair and scalp caught on the bottom of my shoe like toilet paper. When I reach out my hands melt before my eyes. I haven’t turned in an assignment since 2018 because I am technologically illiterate.

But otherwise, I’m fine. I have a Green OpenPass.