No, Seriously. Why Is Every TA Hot?

I’m just curious about if it’s a University policy to only allow hotties to become teaching assistants. It seems too consistent a pattern to not have any sort of institutional backing. If not, then where do they all come from? Does Amy Gutmann herself hand select each chiseled jawline, each perfect cheekbone, each luscious lock? Why are there so many of them? Does she breed them in the basement of College Hall, like dogs? Dogs with the eyes of angels and the jawlines of Adonises? Dogs with beaming smiles and the time management skills of a pro-league referee?

I’m getting carried away. I might be projecting. I’m worried about never having been asked to be a TA in any of my classes. My sources tell me that I need to contact the professor if I’m interested in becoming a teaching assistant, but as a pretty person, I’ve never been one to have to ask for what I want. Things just happen for hot people. Almost serendipitously.

Am I not hot enough, Amy?

I am patiently awaiting my invitation into the realm of the intellectually capable and aesthetically irresistible...the ball is in your court.