“FAFSA? Omg, I Love Soccer Tournaments” Says Friend With Multiple Homes

Yikes! It appears that Nina Gomez (W ‘23), a native of the Upper East Side (with homes in the Hamptons and Colorado) who uses “summer” as a verb, has unfortunately confused the FAFSA with FIFA. The incident occurred when Gomez was reportedly texting one of her friends from her hall whether she was “skiing in Vail or Aspen,” to which Keren Goodfellow (C ‘23) replied that she was actually “doing the FAFSA in Oklahoma.” 

“She sent, like, four voice memos about how she had so much more fun at the Winter Olympics in 2010 than she ever did at the FAFSA or Winnamonbun. I assumed she meant FIFA and Wimbledon,” explained Keren. 

Once Goodfellow explained what the FAFSA was, Gomez was extremely apologetic. 

“I felt so horrible. I had no idea Keren was … you know … poor. I guess I should’ve realized when she always insisted on taking the SEPTA to Trader Joe’s instead of taking a $14 Uber both ways.”  UTB explained that actually around half of Penn’s students are on financial aid, as a majority of American families could not possibly pay $80,000 a year for a college education. Upon hearing this information, Gomez said that “someone definitely should do something about that.” Agreed, Nina. 

However, when Goodfellow suggested that Gomez should examine her “class privilege,” Gomez was confused, as if we were speaking another language — well, one of the seven they did not teach at her elite private school. 

“What do you mean, ‘class privilege?’ It’s not my fault Wharton courses are so much easier than the College!”