Philly Heroes! Frats Holding Events Downtown To Support Local Restaurants

Can we get a round of applause for our boys in letters? The COVID-19 pandemic has severely impacted the restaurant industry, which is really, really sad. So frats made a commitment: they were going to host their date nights, rush events, and BYOs at bars and restaurants in the community -- all to stimulate the economy, of course. 

Brad Douchebague (He's actually French), a member of Phi Sigma, gave UTB his frat’s official stance. 

“During this tumultuous time, my brothers and I want to step up and give back to the Philadelphia community as part of our ongoing philanthropic efforts. And we are doing that by having a 50-person unmasked event indoors at a restaurant downtown. But we’re not tipping.”

Jaime Dousebagito (it’s Spanish) of ChiPsi also chimed in: “Me and my twenty-eight brothers (as well as our girlfriends and their sorority sisters) are all in the same pod, so it’s like totally chill. It’s a germ circle, ever heard of it? Get a life Dr. Fauci…” 

UTB staff asked IFC chairman Logan DüchBaag (German) why they wouldn’t just wear masks and social distance in the name of West Philadelphia residents. He replied, “No no no, the problem isn’t the virus! The restaurants just need more money so the economy can trickle down onto them.” 

Ok, Logan! Hope they have umbrellas.