Breaking: Off-Campus Sorority Holds Workshop Teaching Needy Kids How to Copy & Paste

Bless their hearts! A special charitable off-campus sorority is holding a copy & paste workshop for underprivileged kids. “We noticed that for some reason this is a skill that not everybody has,” explained sorority member, Emma Jones. 

“We felt so horrible when we realized that certain people were accidentally copying and pasting the wrong thing. It was creating a lot of problems especially in certain communities (i.e. off-campus women).” This event was hosted in response to a tragedy during which an innocent child accidentally pasted the link to a “school project” in a group chat. She was bullied for no reason at all and faced a lot of backlash for the mistake. 

“It was so embarrassing, but as Hannah Montana says, ‘nobody’s perfect’ and we all make mistakes.” explained freshman mis-paste offender, Charity Maple. “I’m glad that we can all laugh it off and pretend it never happened!” Helping to do just that, Penn’s newspaper, The Daily Pennsylvanian, has announced it will not be covering the event under any circumstances.

Thanks to the hard work and good will of a very special off-campus sorority, the workshop was a success! Over the course of a day, students learned how to highlight text, hover over the “edit” button then select “copy”. Similar steps were repeated for “paste”. At a follow up workshop scheduled for next month, the sorority will cover “control c” and “control v.” Said Maples upon learning her new skill, “I’m so thankful to the sorority and the DP for helping me learn not to publicly make the same mistake again!”