Wellness Win! University Administration Claims We've Gotten Days off School

In a stunning win for student physical and mental wellbeing, the University of Pennsylvania administration has announced that students have actually already been getting days off school! Students everywhere rejoiced as they realized that in addition to not having any classes that meet on Fridays, they have also been given most Fridays off. 

The administration has recommended using these days to catch up on asynchronous lectures and take a socially distanced walk by yourself or perhaps a relaxing look out of your window for students under quarantine. A recent CAPS newsletter has suggested that it is important for isolated students to remember that there is a world outside their dorm; they’re just not allowed to go there at this point in time. 

As the mental health of its students is paramount for the University, they have already been giving us days off of school periodically throughout the semester. We reached out to the Provost’s office to investigate which specific days have had classes cancelled. Administrative staff member Stuart Tibbins responded quickly to say, “I think there was a snow day a few weeks ago? Maybe two, even. And there was at least one engagement day, but none of us are quite sure what that means. We put them on Fridays so that the only people who miss classes are the ones who signed up for their recitations too late.”

When asked what these engagement days look like on campus, Tibbins said, “I haven’t actually been to my office in several months. We are encouraging students to become more involved in the Philadelphia community, but I cannot stress enough that we are absolutely desperate for students to stay in their rooms. Don’t forget that March 10th and 11th are Spring Break! Stay healthy.”