CAN’T FOCUS IN ZOOM LECTURES? TRY COCAINE!

Are you tired of being tired in Zoom lectures? Do you get up in the morning feeling groggy and tired and sad and depressed and lonely, not able to complete another day in this virtual world where nothing is real and genuine anymore? Do you want to give your drab consulting computer science economics history quintuple major some extra meaning and fun? Every time you look into the screen, do you just see a void of letters and numbers and symbols that don’t mean anything as they dance around the screen like monkeys bouncing off the walls after having too many bananas dipped in concentrated Monster Energy drink?

Look no further. The answer to all your feelings of desperate floatingness will be answered by a healthily solid brick of cocaine.