Good Vibes 20% Effective Against UK Variant

A recent study out of the University of Pennsylvania suggests that good vibes may statistically reduce the spread of coronavirus in individuals. The study consisted of a factorial design controlling for both the new South African and UK variants of Covid-19. The research conducted with 7 college-age students shows a real decrease in not just the spread of coronavirus, but in the severity of symptoms.

“Obviously more research is needed, but the work here today is very promising.” Said one scientist on the project. “Students who stated their vibes were ‘very chill’ saw a huge reduction in cases compared to students who identified purely as ‘Aight’ or ‘It’s going.’”

The one student in the experiment who contracted covid-19 reported his vibes as “Not doing too hot  *coughing noises”. This is in direct contrast to other healthy students who on average reported feeling ‘pretty damn good. I’m a little buzzed right now“. The study survey created to code and quantify the good vibes variable among students showed a strong relationship between getting covid and feeling bad.

“We hope that the Penn and hopefully the CDC adopt their coronavirus plans around the plethora of psychology and social science information we have available. What is Penn doing to advance good vibes? Has the Penn health department even mentioned this issue?” Said one senior researcher. “The administration is so focused on the easily measurable things like daily testing that they are ignoring other important problems. I issue this as a challenge to Amy Guttman, how many days will it take Penn to even mention the words “Good Vibes.” The clock starts now Amy...the clocks starts now.”