Penn Students Send Letters of Continued Interest to Move Up in Vaccine Waitlist

Following the expansion of vaccine eligibility to greater parts of the public, Under the Button spoke with students regarding their experiences with vaccine distribution. One Penn student, Chadwell Bradwell (W’24), reportedly has been waiting more than two weeks on the COVID-19 vaccine waitlist. In the spirit of Ivy Day, he wrote a letter of continued interest to the Pfizer Office of Admissions and was gracious enough to share it with us:

"To whom it may concern,

Thank you for taking the time to review my application. Even though I am currently committed to Johnson & Johnson, Pfizer remains my top choice, and, if given an offer from your waitlist, I still plan to accept it as soon as possible. 

With all due respect to the West Philadelphia community, I believe I have sufficiently demonstrated my urgent need for the vaccine— namely so I can make it to all the darties going on right now. Although your website states that getting vaccinated early is unethical and potentially against the law, my esteemed colleagues at Sigma Apple Pi have informed me that there “ain’t no laws” when one is consuming “the claws.”

Since I submitted my application, I have also continued to pursue my interests in high-risk-status extracurricular activities. For example, I have actively been smoking more nicotine than ever. I am pleased to announce to the admissions committee that my initiative has paid off and that I am now officially a proud recipient of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

Enclosed in this update is also a letter of recommendation from my Finance 100 professor, who can attest to my fervent passion for Microsoft Excel and the whims of the stock market, both of which can be used for the betterment of mankind. Thus, I should receive the vaccine earlier. I implore you to ask yourself: how is Jessica the design major going to save our economy? She gonna save us as a PDF or something? Give the vaccine to those who actually have a chance at employment. Besides, being vaccinated is a highly marketable skill, especially in the finance industry, since it means you’re healthy enough to fully exploit. A Goldman recruiter personally told me that.

Thank you again for your consideration! Please do not hesitate to contact me with any further questions.

Sincerely,

Chadwell Bradwell III"