Here’s What Farm Animal You Are, Based on the Amount of Oats You Eat

If you eat zero Oat:

You are Cat. Cat does not like Oat. Cat does like Mouse. Cat too busy eating Mouse to eat Oat. Cat is predator, but that makes Cat sad. Cat should eat more Oat. Cat would be more happy then. 

If you eat one single Oat:

You are Bee Colony. One Oat is too big for Bee, but with many friends Bee can do it. Bee Colony is very social, because they must share Oat. Bee Colony is happy little thing, but also Bee Colony is near death. Enjoy Oat while you can. 

If you eat a moderate amount of Oat:

You are Pony – neigh! Pony loves Oat a moderate amount. Therefore, Pony eats moderate amount of Oat. Pony is very wise. Pony knows that life needs balance. Pony eats perfect amount of Oat. Everyone should act like Pony.  

If you eat many Oat:

Oink oink, you fat little Porker! Why does little Porker eat so many Oat and leave so few? Why does Porker get all of the Oat when he do so little work? It is because Porker is a filthy, little Capitalist. Share some Oat, swine, or be served to Proletariat on silver platter. 

If you eat an extreme amount of Oat:

You are Hippo. Rawr! You are Very Large and need much Oat. But that is O.K.. You are kind Hippo, and people give you Oat freely. Oat make you feel fat, but you should not believe that. You are big, beautiful Hippo. Do not change. Eat as much Oat as your Hippo heart desires. This is self-care and you need it.

If the oat consume you:

You are the Oat, and the Oat is you. Cycles and cycles of life, death, and rebirth have led you to this perfect state of Oatness. No longer do you have need to consume the Oat, for you are become it. The Christians call this Heaven, the Buddhists Nirvana, the Hindus Moksha. But you, O Enlightened One, you know it only as the Oat.