Wharton Receives $5 Billion Monopoly Money Donation, Plans on Acquiring Baltic Avenue
June 12, 2021 at 3:47 pm
On the heels of their recent Bitcoin intake, Wharton has further diversified their donation portfolio by receiving a $5 billion donation of Monopoly Money.
According to sources deep within Penn's administration, Wharton intends to use the funds to acquire Baltic Avenue for their new hotel project.
The giant donation has left many asking just who this mysterious benefactor is. Well, UTB has uncovered both the culprit and his reasoning behind such a sizable donation.
After an extensive investigation, we've found that the donation comes from a "Mr. Monopoly," who donated to get his son Jeremy Monopoly into Wharton.
"Look, I know I gave up quite a lot of money to Wharton," Mr. Monopoly said. "I've estimated that it's about 800 boards' worth of cash. However, I knew that I had to unload much of my fortune to keep my boy out of jail and give him a life filled with the passages of Go."
On top of getting his son into the prestigious business school, Mr. Monopoly will take ownership over the Sheraton Philadelphia University City Hotel. He will also receive free parking not just at the corner of Kentucky Avenue and New York Avenue but on every street in all of Philadelphia.
In acquiring Baltic Avenue for their hotel project, Wharton hopes to expand their reach on Penn's campus. Regarding the legality of such a project, Wharton has little worry due to their plentiful supply of get out of jail free cards.
Wharton will continue to diversify their donation portfolio, as they currently have copper and uranium donations lined up in the coming weeks.