Quirky! Teen Posts Photo Dump Of Most Aesthetically Pleasing Shits She’s Taken This Month
July 19, 2021 at 1:22 pm
As photo dumps take social media by storm, everyday teens march to their platforms to show their following every side of themselves: a blurry night on the town because I can let loose! A blossoming tree, because I'm not just a city girl… I'm pensive! A quote from a book, because I'm literate and proud.
Quirky teen, Emily Féculénce, took a liking to this new trend… but wanted to make it her own. She's seen the sunsets; she's seen phone eats firsts; she's seen the Hampton's shoreline; she's seen photoshoots in parking garages.
"I knew there must be more. More to post, more to share, more to dump!" said Féculénce to Savannah Guthrie on the TODAY show. Sources say Féculénce was waiting for inspiration to drop… but it plopped instead.
Thursday night on July 1, at 6:47 p.m., Emily took the most exquisite shit she's ever seen. She stared at the shit-art (the shart, if you will), and the shart stared back at her. It winked. She smiled and immediately snapped a vibey pic.
She carried on with this life-altering process for a whole month, and finally, on June 31, her masterfeces was ready to be shared with the world. Féculénce posted a photo dump picturing 10 of the most aesthetically pleasing shits she's taken over the past month. Experts detected influences from the most significant artists and movements throughout history in Emily's excretion. For example, slide 3 had Van Gogh-like Impasto, while slide 7 was inspired by "modern-day expressionism."
"This fine young lady is so ahead of her time. I never knew art movements and bowel movements could be married together in a medley of genius. So powerful—truly revolutionary," beamed Dan Levy from hit show Schitt's Creek.
Emily's caption read: "Felt cute, might shit later."
Féculénce did some defecation manifestation immediately following her post while the media was digesting her social bowel movement. The world thanked her for her raw vulnerability and fantastic shit-taking. In her interview on TODAY, Savannah Guthrie made history by announcing Emily Féculénce was in the running for a Nobel Prize.
Guthrie continued: "I believe you will flush the competition, young lady. Now, tell us about your intentional incorporation of corn."
Emily, only 16, has already been admitted to Brown University, and the world will be looking to her as she continues to shape modern shit posting…or post shitting…or shit posting post-shitting.