Junior Revisits Thriving At Penn Modules to Figure out Where It All Went Wrong

At the halfway point of her Penn experience, Michaela Cooper (C ’23) has decided it’s time to do some serious reflection and subsequent self-improvement. After two years, which she would classify as “pretty sub-par” and “not worth her parents taking out a second mortgage on their house,” Cooper has decided to go back to the root of her high expectations: the Thriving at Penn Canvas modules. 

The Thriving at Penn modules, which every freshman is required to complete, have been questioned several times for allegedly “not aptly preparing students for the amount of clubs they would get rejected from” and implying that it is “possible to thrive at Penn without an SSRI prescription.” These modules, with titles like “Academic Integrity” flippantly assure students that CIS homework is possible to complete without collaboration. 

Nevertheless, Michaela told Under the Button that she was “literally desperate” and would do just about anything in order to figure out how things could have gone so off track. “It must have some good advice, right?” she said in a tone that felt like she was trying to convince us. However, when there was no module entitled “How to Get Pool Tickets if You Can’t Use an Early Bird Code” or “How to Get Tea in the Kitchen of Kelly Writers House Without Feeling Like an Imposter,” she realized that no number of Canvas modules could help her now. 

EDIT: UTB has recently learned that Michaela is working on her own set of Canvas modules called “Surviving At Penn.” We wish her the best of luck and would ask her to send the link our way once she has completed it, please.