Dear Penn: Stop Giving Us Tote Bags and Start Giving Us USB Type-A to Mini-B Cables

Dear Penn, if you really care about the student population, then you should stop giving us tote bags, and give us USB Type-A to Mini-B cables instead.

Think logically about it: What do you even use a tote bag for? Holding groceries? Carrying heavy books? See, it’s practically useless — not to mention mundane as all hell.

Now behold, the USB Type-A to Mini-B cable! It can be used to charge any TI-84 Plus series graphing calculator. God knows how much I need that cable, and as a Penn student, I should be entitled to at least one or two of them.

You see, there was a time when I wasn’t really a big cable advocate. That all changed when I lost mine and kept getting told by the CVS guy that they would restock, and guess what? I showed up at 3 P.M. every day only to be met with a barren USB cable section and disgusted looks from the cashier.

Okay, I know you can get them off of Amazon for cheap, but hear me out. That would require me to walk all of the way to Amazon@Penn and scan a barcode on my phone, effectively ruining my chill morning and good vibes. Oh yeah, and something about workers being exploited, too.

Dear Penn, nobody should have to bear the pain of being labeled as the “kid that only asks for USB Type-A to Mini-B cables” just because they want to charge their own damn calculator. Step up to the plate. Do better.