BREAKING! Frats Announced New Spotify Playlist That Only Plays Diplos 'On My Mind' Once

Thursday was monumental for Penn Panhellenic as the fraternities unveiled a groundbreaking announcement. The brothers of every campus fraternity unanimously voted on creating a revolutionary new playlist on Spotify. 

This announcement was especially intuitive coming months after the infamous vote to diverge from Soundcloud, fittingly dubbed the “Big Bootie Remix Rebellion of 2021”. This rebellion was a long instigated effort by both Panhellenic and University students to put an end to these horrible, white-girl anthem monstrosities. Thankfully, the rebellion led to a change in legislation and also a more diverse music taste.

However, this small step in Greek life music was not nearly enough. Following the diverge from Soundcloud, many fraternities turned to Apple music, starting what was known as the dark era of Penn Panhellenic. This era was filled with advertisements between songs for some sort of foot cream that your mom uses and awkward silences waiting for things to load because whichever idiot that was on aux doesn’t have any songs saved  - a true tragedy for any student to endure. 

Thus, it comes to no surprise that amidst a mess of legislation, fraternities also unanimously voted to have Apple music join Soundcloud on the list of forbidden apps. Another famous contender on this list was TikTok, a recently banned app for fraternities, on the basis of having their brothers be able to say “oh, you’re on TikTok? Yeah that’s just too girly for me it’s kind of stupid. I guess I’m just not addicted to my phone like that,” after responding to their 200 day streaks on snapchat. 

It comes to no surprise that fraternities eventually turned to the superior music app of Spotify after a seemingly endless debate of legislation on music apps. However, the issues did not stop with the app, which is why this new law was created. Once in the realm of Spotify, fraternities had a monopoly on songs that had no right to be played more than once in a party. These were not isolated incidents, as “Mr. Brightside”, “Pursuit of Happiness”, and various other white girl anthems were close contenders. However, Diplo’s “On My Mind” was crowned triumphant amidst these allegations. Due to this incident, the unanimous vote to create a playlist only containing the song once was not a surprise, and we hope that many songs will follow. Thank you, Penn Panhellenic, for finally taking a stand for what is right.