Mask and Wig to Accept Women, Only if They're Hot Though

In a historic move, Penn’s Mask and Wig Club, the oldest all-male collegiate musical comedy troupe in the United States, voted to welcome members of all genders for the 2022-2023 academic year — as long as they are hot.

Members of Mask and Wig are ecstatic with the change, citing the positive impact this will have on campus. “We are so excited to become an inclusive environment!” said Wig member Jack Lee. “We’ve been all male for so long, it will be so great to welcome people of all gender identities to our ranks, whether it be hot women, hot non-binaries, or really just anyone that's hot and that I might have a chance with!” 

Inclusion was a large motivator of this change, as Wig members cited the need to support their fellow Penn students. One Wig sophomore had this to say: “I can’t wait for the first non-male member to join! We need to create safe spaces for gender nonconforming people who have been cast aside for far too long. And what’s a better safe space than one ran by 50 men?”

The decision also illustrates Mask and Wig’s flexibility as a club that seeks to put on performances that are relevant to modern-day audiences, who mostly hate musical theater. 

“As times have changed, as the needs or the interests of our audience and our participants in the Penn community have changed. As evidenced by the results of our club review, we found out that people don’t want to see theater, they want to see sideboob and a little bit of clit. We want to adapt and make sure that we're successful in following our mission of ‘Justice to the stage. Credit to the University. Hot Girls to the Front,” Lee said. 

Lee added that he does not anticipate a merger with Bloomers, Penn’s comedy troupe for gender minorities, as they are “loud and annoying." He added that he is only interested in working with “hot girls with huge racks that don’t talk."

"For too long, women have been excluded from my life ... I mean Mask and Wig." Lee said. “Wig has been an absolute sausage party for 133 years, and I’m honestly sick of it. This change allows Wig to create a more inclusive environment, and will hopefully give me the chance to slurp some punani as well. It’s a win-win.”