Annoying! Free Club Flyer Also Has Water Bottle Attached

You’ve got to be kidding me! Sources are saying that the awesome little flyers that people hand you on Locust sometimes… have water bottles attached to them. Ugh.

Why would you assume that I would even want your bottled water, buddy? Do you have a single clue as to how busy I am? Do you think I have time for hydration? And… really? It’s made of plastic? What do I look like to you, the king of plastic?

I can’t believe this. Do you take me for a fool? Listen: no matter how many interesting club flyers with compelling graphics and acerbic, forward-thinking puns you hand me, you will never convince me to take your filthy water bottles.

I’m going to be honest with you: I am going to toss this frail aquatic vessel at the earliest moment possible. And don’t worry: I will make sure that I am outside your proverbial sphere of influence first before chucking this thing in the trash like the absolute refuse it is. No holds barred, full send, whatever you want to call it, this thing is getting sent straight to the junkyard, my friend.

Really cool club flyer though. I’ll definitely drop by the info session!