Inspiring: Brave Student Transforms Roommate's Side of Dorm into Compost Pile

As our great Benjamin Franklin famously said, “Well done is better than well said.” Engineering freshman William Stewart has truly taken these words to heart since his recent arrival to Penn in late August. Unlike most students, who merely wallow in despair, Stewart has taken action to combat the monumental problem that is climate change. 

Tired of indolence on the part of faculty and students, Stewart took the matter into his own hands by converting a non-necessary part of his dorm room, his roommate’s half of the room, into a fully functioning compost pile. Stewart has been lauded for his courageous actions by many, and UTB was lucky enough to interview him between award ceremonies last week:

When asked about the inspiration behind his ingenious innovation, Stewart said the following:

“I just thought, you know, climate change, this is a problem. And I thought, how can I fix it? Then it hit me. I’d create a compost pile in an unused part of my room by dumping my trash there. Not only would I be a  hero for single-handedly saving the world, but I’d also save myself a lot of walking. I hate walking.”

Needless to say, a very inspiring story. Still, some climate change deniers and general pessimists refuse to acknowledge Stewart’s ingenuity. One such infamous climate change denier and general pessimist is none other than Stewart’s roommate, college freshman Don DeSantis, who claims that Stewart’s actions were inspired not by benevolence, but rather by sloth.

In an inclusive interview, an irate DeSantis whinged tirelessly:

“Honestly, I can’t believe what has happened to me since I came to this damned school. I mean, where in the world is it acceptable for a student to convert his roommate’s half of the room, including his bed, into a trash pile? I came back and was just like, What the hell is this? Residential Services won’t lift a finger, and others seem to be entranced by William’s delusions. I’m all for bettering the world, and I do believe in climate change, but I just don’t see how this is helpful. I don’t know why God is making me suffer like this; I repent for my sins daily.”

Obviously, Mr. DeSantis’ account of his roommate’s brave actions is impacted by jealousy, as well as his unjustified denial of climate change. 

In better news, Stewart has just been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize!