Tired Of Boring Campus Scents? Discover New Smells With SEPTA

 Are you tired of the typical boring Penn Campus smells? For instance, during math lecture, the smell of the hair of the guy in front of you is just so overpowering; it reeks of fratty sexual assaults. Or, are you tired of the musty smell of your Quad room, where the ceiling could cave in at any moment due to the happy little colonies of mold slowly consuming the ceiling like how time slowly consumes your life?

Look no further than the intersection of 34th and Market Street. Here you’ll find the entrance to the SEPTA, which is Philadelphia’s premier public transit subway network. And in it, you are bound to discover new smells that you never thought existed. 

Each time you step into a train, you are greeted by a new smell. SEPTA is incredibly adept at mixing smells. For instance, SEPTA pioneered the groundbreaking Kentucky Fried Chicken - Gatorade - Weed smell, which is now frequently found in SEPTA. 

What are you waiting for? SEPTA is excited to receive you with its reeks.