McClelland Bowls Now Just Rice

Last semester was full of McClelland bowl idealism. These bowls were yummy little lunches that included rice, cucumbers, carrots, popcorn chicken, and sauces. However, after students filled out the end of semester dining hall questionnaire, it was realized that there was no gratitude for these bowls. Did they really think that carrots and cucumbers were a given? Their tuition can hardly cover such expensive vegetables. Not to mention, popcorn chicken is simply luxurious when chicken nuggets are so affordable. 

Naturally, there was downsizing at the beginning of this semester. There were a number of concerns fueling Penn Dining's decision: lack of gratitude, the need to cut costs, and an ingenious plan to subtly put students on a diet. Thus, rice bowls contained romaine lettuce instead of cucumbers and carrots at the beginning of this semester. It was the cheaper and skinner alternative. So skinny. But students, mistakenly believing that they have a say, haven’t been too happy about this transition.

After a series of meetings, Penn Dining has decided to completely cut the chicken and lettuce from McClelland bowls and introduce a new bowl: Just Rice. So skinny. There’s no need to keep beating around the bush. Effective now, McClelland will cease sales of sushi and udon noodles. The sole option is rice bowls, making the trip so much more convenient to students! Not to mention so much skinnier. If students can shut up and enjoy their rice, then Penn Dining might consider adding lettuce again. For any rice-related constipation issues, Miralax will now also be sold at McClelland Retail.