Letter From the Editor: Okay but Check This Out

Dear readers,

It's me, Grace, the head honcha, nay, honchress, of this little publication. I know you haven't heard from me in a while — I've been very busy contemplating the infinitely large and the infinitesimally small, getting Queen Bee in The New York Times spelling bee without hints, running twenty five miles a week, and thinking about music. The hoes are just a liiiiiitle bit mad, but such is life. 

I just wanted to stop in and show you something I've been working on. I can jump really, really high. It wasn't always like this, but I've been putting in the time. I am trying to stay nimble. I must maintain my inoculation to the haters or any obstruction in my path like a puddle, a dog (dead or alive), or any other small object. I want to be prepared for hoops and fences. Next time I am asked to do a half-court dunk at a nationally-televised basketball game (cable channels, not ESPN+), I want to say yes. Last time I said no, but that's because I was a little busy that day. 

Now, I have a natural aptitude for the athletic — I can do a gorgeous spin, and every day I wake up and perform the ancient practice of dance for at least fifteen minutes. I am flexible, I have what physicians and scientists called "hand-eye coordination unlike anything seen before," and ultimately, a high vertical for such a small and dainty woman like myself. 

So check this out: