I Now Only Go to Acme with the Hopes of an Anvil Falling On My Head

 After a long day of bottomless coffee, homework, and professors sounding like tired and deflated trombones, I realize that I no longer have any food in my refrigerator. This is unfortunate because without food, I won’t have the energy to do the same shit again the next day. 

So, in order to prolong the negative feedback cycle, I decided to go to Acme Supermarket.

As I approached the supermarket, I couldn’t help but notice that the gargantuan American parking lot on top of Acme was a very convenient place to drop an anvil on people who are walking into the store. 

I thought to myself, I really am just like the coyote. I spend so much time and effort trying to catch this fast blue bird, which is metaphorical to some higher unspecified goal. But all that amounts to is just repeatedly dropping an anvil on my head.