OP-ED: Maybe You’re The Problem

On-campus housing is a debacle. It’s a struggle of push and pull. It is unfair, unequal, inequitable, and honestly cruel. Our lives are so hard. But you reading this, you don’t actually have it that bad. Imagine if your roommate snored. Imagine if you couldn’t get one lick of sleep a night because of your noisy roommate. Nightmare material. See, while the Fossil Free Penn protests were going on, there was a group that deserved a space in those tents – those who were woken up by snores. I propose a solution to this problem: Penn should start a program where they isolate snoring students in Stouffer. Snoozing Snoring Stouffer! Perfect. Hopefully they won’t disturb the Wawa employees. Five Guys is probably not opened yet solely because of all these violent noises. Disgusting... 

More importantly, I think that the KCECH computer lounge is deliciously comfortable. There’s definitely room in there to sleep. I covered myself with my rose gold 13” MacBook Air, and slept snuggly at night. 64 gigabite! And of course I didn’t want to leave KCECH, it’s so lit over there. I would’ve stayed if it wasn’t for my roommate. I would leave KCECH at night like a nomad. I slept in the Moelis Family Grand Reading Room, the ATO roof deck, under the button, and the Quad Catacombs.

I’ve done some soul searching while sleeping in the Dubois Rodin COVID testing tent.  I really don’t think that I have any blame in this. It’s all the university’s fault, but in the process I did find many homes on campus. Maybe it was always more about the journey than the destination, but...

Please lock up my roommate in Sansom East!!! He’s so loud please!! I am not the problem!