Diversity Win! Class of 2026 Most Diverse Cohort of High-Net-Worth Individuals

The numbers are in, and they’re promising: Penn is doing more than the bare minimum for its minority communities.

A report released by the Office of Admissions late last week indicates that this year’s freshman class comprises the most multicultural group of students whose parents own more than one house in the University’s 281-year history. Figures show that domestic students came from 49 states (sorry, California), and several U.S. territories including Puerto Rico, Guam, and Phillips Exeter. Additionally, this year’s international cohort had parents who were millionaires in over 84 local currencies.

“It’s phenomenal,” said Dean of Admissions Whitney Soule at a press conference Monday afternoon. “Historically, most of our students came from the usual suspects: Bank of America, McKinsey, the Boston Consulting Group. But now? We’ve got folks from all over: Deutsche Bank, Barclays, Crédit Agricole. Last week, I even spoke with a kid whose mom is a vice president at the Bank of China!

“I’m hopeful that our diversity of backgrounds will enrich our students as they study to become the next generation of global leaders and enact symbolic change.”

Some students remain skeptical of the University’s commitment to serving underrepresented special interests, however. “I’m just not sure that this report is all it’s being hyped up to be,” said Fossil Free Penn member and political science major Claire Zhang (C ‘25). “Sure, it’s great that we’re including more minority voices here in our community, but if all of our students come from the same tax bracket, can we really say that we’re committing ourselves to upholding socioeconomic mobility?” she questioned as her tent on College Green was being razed by a bulldozer. 

University officials nevertheless remain optimistic. “I’m sure that some students don’t feel that we’re doing enough, and I welcome those discussions,” noted President Elizabeth Magill. “If you know anyone who thinks we could be doing more, then feel free to send me their contact information, as well as their Instagram handle, date of birth, and home address.”

At press time, Penn Abroad administrators were reportedly considering a foreign exchange program between luxury ski resorts in Switzerland, Japan, and Pennsylvania.