Suck It: The Two Genders Are Slay and Bruh

Today as I was getting ready to triumphantly complete my FAFSA for the coming fiscal academic year, I noticed something peculiar. The two boxes that displayed the genders of yesteryear, female and male, have fanished. What did I see in their places? Progress. Build Back Better Realness. are now replaced with: slay and bruh. How progressive! 

As a cis-het, white man myself, I find these inclusive terms to be ever enlightening and truly expansive to include those on the gender spectrum. However, my one critique as a white straight man named Chase Michael Hudson who identifies as a true ally of the LGBTQIA+ community is that, why is there no option for both? Or neither?

Some days, as a cis-het white man, I feel slay, but I also, dare I say it, want to perform a little… bruh. Please forgive me. Post-modern society is so ever evolving and complex, and as a disadvantaged, underrepresented individual studying finance at the University of Penislvagina, things can get a little… difficult for me. It’s worse when it’s finals week, my 2 multiple choice online exams with answer keys found on Quizlet.com really make my gender and sexuality crisis go back and forth like a metronome. Please feel bad for me? Please? Please feel bad about how historically marginalized my people have been…. Please? Ever since I’ve gotten into this university as a legacy student, everything has gone downhill from here. 

So yeah… this is Biden’s America. We, the social justice warriors, strike at dawn, and we are ready, and we will NOT succumb to the radical right. Checkmate, MAGA mob. We’re making American slay again, bitches.