Aw Shucks! Former CIS 160 TA Now Works at Apple Genius Bar

Do you remember Steve? Steve the guy with glasses and a Patagonia shirt and khaki pants and a smug grin on his face like he just snorted the HARDEST line before coming to TA CIS 160 class every Friday? Yeah, that Steve. Yeah I know he was soooooo smart. A little too smart. Like we get it. Like we get that you went to Andover and grew up in the Bay Area.

Do you also remember the way his nasally voice caught up in his throat when he called roll? The way his emails were oddly punctuated, yeah I remember that ha ha.

No, for real Steve asked me in office hours once how we can use permutations to calculate the amount of ways we can try distinct sex positions. He sent us an email afterwards about something on Piazza? Something like, 

“If your question does not contain these we may skip you until it does.

Questions should not be about validating your solution (such as “I’m confused about whether my solution is right.” or “Not sure if I have the right intuition.“). TAs have been instructed not to answer questions like these. When the queue is sufficiently long (i.e., wait time is over 20 minutes), we will only be able to spend up to 10 minutes with each student to better ensure we help students make progress on the assignment and reduce wait times. This means that you may only be able to ask one question.

Then he said, “Except if your question is ’I’m confused about whether my solution is right, can I suck your dick?’ Please do not ask it.”

Oh yeah, the days in Greenberg Lounge before the homeworks were due were INSANE. Yeah, like war zone insane. Monday evenings from 4-10 pm was fucking crazy dude. 

That problem set? 69 factorial… something something. Ugh that was so hard. Steve was so kind to ask if I needed anything more from office hours when I told him that problem set kept me up at night. He’s so nice.

Yeah, Steve just posted on his LinkedIn. Did you see? He said, “It is with great pleasure that I announce that I will be coding for Apple this coming spring. I am so thankful for all my mentors who have led me to this opportunity. Excited to start!” 

Yeah, he’s working for Apple GENIUS BAR. At the Apple Store on Walnut Street. So yeah, he’s technically working for a FAANG company, I guess.

Ugh, I might see him because I have to buy a new MacBook Pro — do you think they have it in Rose Gold now? Maybe if I tell Steve I miss him he will give it to me for free.