Emotional Scene: On-Campus Fraternity Brothers Disheartened as Their Party Overlooked by Fun Police

This past Friday was like any other at the University of Pennsylvania, with frat parties raging all hours of the night across campus. As most Penn socialites downed mixed drinks, snorted coke off of their half-naked friends, and danced the night away, those attending a certain on-campus fraternity’s “Sip the Rainbow” party did nothing of the sort. 

What started as a laid-back night of vibes with the brothers evolved into... a chill kickback with the brothers and a few of their friends. The party-throwers had hoped that their intensive advertisement and unique theme would draw in an above-average crowd, but their dreams were unfulfilled. The lights were on throughout the house, and although a few bedroom doors were locked shut there was no lust in the air. Some simply preferred playing uninterrupted “Super Smash Bros” to attending the function playing out beyond their room.

Frat morale was not high. When they thought they had hit their lowest point, some brothers heard sirens racing up Walnut Street towards them. Could it be? The fun police?! Had their frat really thrown the most active party of the evening? As mediocre as it was, could it have been better than the rest? Surely a visit from the fun police would circulate campus culture, putting them on the map as a staple of Penn nightlife.

As these thoughts flashed through the minds of the brothers, they rushed outside to confront their opps. Finally, the day had come! But as they swung open the door of their affluent West Philadelphia twin home, the fun police wagons continued charging up Walnut, past their front door, to bust some party in a distant corner of campus. The dream was over before it started. 

Devastated, the brothers sulked back inside and, needing some peace and quiet to reflect, cleared the house of the six remaining party guests. The clock read 11:03 PM. Another night of disappointment.