Stupid Bitch! My Mom Refused to Upgrade Me to First Class on Our Family Trip To Bora Bora

Ugh. Just UGH!

I was minding my own business at Saxbys, sipping a delicious large cold brew, when my mother dared to call me. Mom, don’t you know that today is literally the most important day of the whole semester because my friends and I are deciding who to invite to our sorority formals?! 

Anyway, she told me that she booked an overwater bungalow for our trip. But it’s like… duh you booked an overwater bungalow. Where else would we be sleeping? As that song goes, tell me tell me tell me tell me something I don’t know. 

So she did!

She told me that she booked our plane tickets. Like no shit! We can’t walk to Bora Bora! Then she went on to say (and this is really hard for me to type out right now) that we’d be sitting in…premium economy. I cried and cried and cried until a barista kicked me out of Saxbys. After I recovered, I came up with a very compelling argument to get my mom to upgrade us: I told her I wouldn't play in the mother-daughter pickle ball tournament at The Club this summer. But she STILL refused.

The moral of the story: my life is over! AND that bitch from my history class invited my situationship to formal. Everything. Is. Ruined. 

p.s. this is all a joke! my mom is awesome and ALWAYS upgrades me to first class