Have You Ever Kissed a Guy in Stouffer-Mayer? And Other Pickup Lines for People of Generally Low Social Standing

For one reason or another, you find yourself at the bottom of Penn’s social hierarchy. That’s ok. Maybe you’re ugly or from a weird state. Nothing you can really change. 

Nevertheless, you still want to get some play. Nay, you deserve play. Don’t worry. We’ll make it work. Here are a few pick-up lines you could try out on mates-to-be to make sure you’re the sex demon you’ve always dreamed you were.

(1) Hey baby, want to see how we do it down in Little Rock?

(2) Want to come to my improv comedy show? 

(3) I got a whole drawer full of these Class of 2026 Penn Traditions t-shirts. You intrigued?

(4) How would you like to meet the brothers of my pre-professional fraternity? You'd be one of the first, baby.

(5) You know, they say I put the “D” in DRL. I’m also named David. Cool, right?