REPORT: Is That a First Date or Is My Crush Just Coffee Chatting That Double D European Chick?

I really REALLY need to know the context behind this situation. I just walked out of Pret with my oat milk chai latte  (I’m lactose intolerant) and guess who I see chatting it up at the tables right outside? Should I scoot a little closer to eavesdrop? Or will I hear something that will make me want to skip my 10:15?

Pret can be a confusing place. Every day there are countless permutations of Whartonites chatting at varying levels of substance. Some conversations sound downright involuntary. Others sound desperate. Sometimes I’ll recognize two people who I know have absolutely NO business speaking to each other, and I start to wonder what club one of them must be trying to get into. 

But I digress. The real question I’m trying to answer right now is this: Is he trying to get a referral to work in asset management, or is he trying to manage her assets? Why the fuck is he laughing that hard? I’ve never seen that level of attentiveness in his eyes. He’s definitely after something. 

I’ve seen this girl a few times around Huntsman. Stacy, was it? Her Instagram bio says “london & manchester” (so she’s from Manchester). She has that aura of someone who has a job lined up no matter what numbers appear on their transcript at the end of the year. I bet that latte sitting in front of her is whole milk. She’s tall…definitely does pilates…she may even be a natural blonde (big if true). 

This is stressing me out. Fuck. Fuckkkkkkk. But at the end of the day, what kind of first date is Pret anyways?