Career Services Guide: Companies Hiring and Accepting Sexual Favors for Summer 2024
Photo by reynermedia / CC BY 2.0
October 9, 2023 at 2:31 pm
It’s that time of year! Companies are starting to welcome new hires for the coming summer, and young adults across the nation are foaming at the mouth at the chance to sell their fleeting youth to Big Internship. Internship hunting can be overwhelming, and it is often difficult to find the opportunities meant for you. Hopefully, this guide can ease some of the internship uncertainty – possibly with the help of a few risqué LinkedIn messages. Here are eight companies that are hiring interns, and accepting sexual favors, for summer 2024!
1. Apple: Accepting two technical challenges: one coding-involved, one up to the imagination (bonus points for apple-inclusion).
2. Tesla: Elon Musk (W '97, C '98) knows what we Quakers are capable of.
3. Blackstone: (MANDATORY) They need to figure out what those assets are before they can manage them!
4. McKinsey & Company: The sexual favor probably won’t help you, but they’re definitely accepting it!
5. My High School: The sexual favor would definitely help you, and they’re definitely accepting it!
6. Septa (Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority): Apparently, there’s a guy at 40th and Market Station. Details unknown.
7. University of Pennsylvania: Similar application to the college admissions process; be sure to charm your interviewer!
8. Wharton Behavioral Lab: Not an internship but they’re kinda curious how far people would go for $15.
Good luck, and happy interning~