Insider’s Scoop: What They’re Not Telling You About UTB’s Writer Strike

There’s a deal that I made to get into this club. I will not be saying anything that I cannot say, but the truth just has to come out someday. Today is that day.

The majority of what you heard about this writing publication is true: half of us are gay, half of us are going into consulting, all of us are an NYC 8 at least, and lastly, all of us are controversial. We strive to write funny articles, but at what cost? Just last week, I found out that my articles do not get highlighted on the website because they do not have a weight of five. Literally what does that even mean? Why would my article be punished for her waist size being 0 rather 5? Just so fucked up all around. I’m not jumping the picket line here, because one term of the strike is the acknowledgment that all UTB’s international students must write despite the strike or have ICE called on them.

But the unfavorable work conditions have not stopped since I joined last year. I wrote many funny HILARIOUS articles last semester (2) that were not published, which made me sad. The punchbowl looms over us all and we have not yet crushed the competition. The new recruits have not -- despite the messaging of our social being “BYO”-- brought their own. The tragic truth is that our articles have become pyrrhic victories; we write them only for you bitches to interact with them on Instagram more than the actual articles.

The press is dying. We demand: 

1. Executives to gaf
2. LIVING WAGES! One Zahav dinner per month MINIMUM.
3. More straight people representation
4. Longform articles in spite of minute media rotting the brains of the youth
5. Prettier applicants (please. I cannot handle the disappointments every semester)
6. Our dp office space back ugh I miss the silver conference room so much
7. Straight Jewish men from NYC suburbs on staff
8. No fear of governmental powers with national wealth such as the Gulf Countries
9. MORE love for China for it has waned in the past years god I can barely bring myself to write this one
10. One love.