UTB Guide: How to Wait For Your Friends Outside Harnwell Without Looking Like a Hooker

Here is a list of dos and don'ts:

Do:

1. Shiver -- it is a sign of being cold and maybe someone will take pity and tap you in to wait near the fake fire in the lobby.
2. Sit on the bench directly across from Harnwell, and ponder that sonder feeling.
3. Journal on your phone or on your physical journal if you’re feeling gauche.
4. Pretend to be texting your friends and occasionally look through the glass into the lobby in hopes they’ll save you.
5. Call your parents. You haven’t spoken to them in a while anyways, make the best of your time.
6. Reply to your emails.
7. Sip on some kombucha, and if you don’t have one, go buy one. Your gut will thank you!
8. Read a poem. Write a poem. Make the mistake of starting something new.

Don’t:

1. Wear your Aritzia SuperPuff™ with short tennis shorts, totally not Shein faux leather jacket with short shorts, or any of your Penn hoodies.
2. Lean on the wall of the door and ask a “sweetie” to tap you in.
3. Sit on the weird protruding wall (I think it’s a wall, or ledge idfk) past 9pm.
4. Flirt with a Penn Police officer so they agree to walk you back to your off campus housing because your friends ditched you.
5. Take a swig of a little container discretely stashed in any of the aforementioned garments and sigh deeply afterwards.
6. Wait outside if your mascara bled due to tears shed over any of these: boys who may not like you after all, the cyclicality of college life, the cold, or your upcoming midterm in week 11 of the semester.
7. Use corded headphones. Airpods only!
8. (Under ANY circumstances) Smoke a cigarette or two or three or four or more as you wait.