Fuck Yes! Teresa Caputo Appointed Chair of Penn Religious Studies

"You only like me because you like the beginnings of things."

What’s not to love about scrappy, female ingénues? A crackling wit and a reverence for the supernatural?

That’s right. Get your eyes off of LoopNet. It’s time to reckon with your inner demons. To help you along the way, Long Island Medium Teresa Caputo will be assuming a new position as Chair of the Religious Studies Department at The University of Pennsylvania. Finally, someone with enough gumption and hair volume to proffer utopian solutions to wayward, type-A people pleasers amidst the expansive and abiding shit of the last decade plus!

Teresa, can you explain the whiplash I get when I scroll through Instagram stories? Does someone care less when they post about Taylor Swift group psychosis immediately after calling for a ceasefire? 

Teresa squints. “In many cases, and certainly in mine, it means quite the opposite.”

With her words she pierced through my morally reiterant ambivalence, something surgical, exalted.  “It means they care so much that they must occasionally seek utopia, no matter the form, no matter how seemingly dissonant. Even if it is a Taylor Swift repost.”

Key takeaway from Teresa Caputo, Long Island Medium (Chair of the Religious Studies Department): "We return to fantasy not to forget, but to remember: other futures are possible."