Finals Season Again! Here’s Why You Should Join Me In Self-Immolating Outside of Van Pelt:

1. THIS IS FACETIOUS I PROMISE THIS IS IN JEST THIS IS FROLICSOME ALL IS WELL

2. Because I said so.

2. It would send a message to professors, the heat is too much.

3. Van Pelt needs an aesthetic renovation. Perhaps the flames will draw inspiration.

4. I cannot figure out how to cite anything: should I do APA, MLA, or Chicago?

5. My playlists are getting old. I need an attractive boy to send me his fire playlists.

6. The fire is a motif.

7. I think it could be pretty.

8. It's kinda cold out, a temporary campfire is surely the kindest thing I can give to my community

9. There are still two more weeks of a cold, Northeast America before I travel somewhere warmer.

10. Cause I'm a hot knife (I'm a hot knife) he's a pat of butter, ya know?