7 Ways to Be Anti-coquette

Here are 7 ways to stop being coquette, because why the fuck would you want to look sweet, cute, and aesthetic, when you could look depressed, unhinged, and carefree?

1. Bring back the Metallica ‘Ride the Lightning’ oversized t-shirts. 
2. Stop using anti-dandruff shampoo. 
3. Bring back the loom band bracelets. 
4. Wear flip-flops instead of uggs. 
5. Stop doing pilates and switch to weight-lifting. Extra points if you grunt aggressively everytime you do a chest press, even if it’s just the bar. 
6. Get an eyebrow piercing, on both eyebrows. 
7. LADY GAGA HAIR BOW.