Jon Huntsman to Reinstate Donation After “Feeling Represented” by Penn President For First Time Since 1993 All-Female Run

Following the initiation of blue-eyed dirty blond J. Larry Jameson as interim president, Jon Huntsman Jr. has declared a reinstatement of his donation following his October 2023 pull out. While he publicly stated this was due to Penn’s “silence in the face of reprehensible and historic Hamas evil against the people of Israel,” leaked documents have revealed that he had grown resentful of the Penn presidency's lack of diversity. Finally, Huntsman can see himself in(side) the Penn President again. 

Huntsman is no stranger to diversity, boasting several years of global ambassadorship under his belt and more impressively and relevantly, an LDS mission to Taiwan. Thus, he was appalled that a total of not one…not two… but four w*men have served as president in the last 30 years. This is a historically undiverse run compared to previous decades, which had a total of 0 female presidents. 

As the majority shareholder of campus building names that people actually know, Huntsman believes his share of representation in University politics should be proportional, surpassing students, faculty, and other stakeholders. Fueled by the principles of DEI, he and fellow building nameowners created their own caucus (called The Cockus) within the Board of Trustees. The election of J. Larry Jameson is just the first of many wins that follow from The Cockus’ unrelenting grassroots advocacy. 

When asked for his personal testimony, Huntsman said the University feels like his yet-to-be-fathered child and he now feels secure enough to “commit to producing a great thing with Jameson.” Safe to say, pulling out isn’t an option for Huntsman anymore and we congratulate our newly ordained donor-president pair on this exciting chapter!