Report: Joe Biden Forgets He Dropped Out of the Race, Campaigns Even Harder

REHOBOTH, DE — Approximately 30 minutes after President Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 Presidential Election, aides close to the President reported that he promptly forgot his historic decision to withdraw and is now campaigning with even more energy. 

“The Biden who dropped out was the old, senile, weak Biden,” one aide told Under the Button. “But after a few minutes the President completely forgot that persona even existed. He’s back to going for the gold!” 

Staffers reported Biden burst back into the Oval Office, kicking his feet up on the desk like nothing happened, and asking how the “polling was going in the great state of Chicago.” 

Liaisons to House Representative Nancy Pelosi reportedly were briefing the President on his previous decision to drop out of the race, using visual guides and a screening of Adam Sandler’s 50 First Dates to underscore their message. Unconvinced, the President remained firm in his resolve: “I’ve always been in this race, I am in this race, and I will be in this race.”

At press time, White House Staffers found Biden distraught at his desk, unaware of his decision to remain in the race, drafting a second letter of withdrawal identical to the first one.