‘An Inch Away From More Than Just Friends,’ Your Boyfriend and His Best Friend Know Every Lyric to This Chappell Roan Song

You’ve been trying to get your boyfriend to listen to Chappell Roan since you found yourself relating to “Femininomenon” a year after it came out. He always gave an excuse to not listen, mumbling about how he doesn’t have time and something about how you have a pitiful music taste. One day you caught him mumbling “h-o-t-t-ohh-g-o,” and you asked him how he knew that song. He responded with, “oh uhh I heard it from umm at ermm shit what was it ugh ummm SMOKES yeah it was playing at Smokes haha it’s catchy!” This was super believable and you can’t believe you didn’t think of that before, even though yesterday he said he’s never been to Smokes. 

You found him the next week alone in his dorm with his eyes watering, staring at a picture of his best friend Richard Mater (C ’27), asking himself if it was casual now. Questions arose: you mention that it kinda sounds like he was singing that one other popular Chappell Roan song. He quickly put the picture away and wiped his eyes, “Oh yeah, Richard has been showing me some of those songs. They’re really good! I guess you were right about her. I’m so glad Rich showed me her music.” Your boyfriend and his best friend Mater have been the bestest of friends ever since their Moms conceived them at the same time, place, and room — a story all four of their parents love recounting at every family event. 

This moment has been a great bonding experience between you and your boyfriend. Just in time, too: you guys are celebrating your 22-and-a-half-month anniversary real soon and you’ve been shaking with excitement for this milestone! The relationship has been so dreamy up to this point: every once in a while he showers you with sweet compliments like “you’re the most adequate girl I would ever date,” and how he thinks you’re just as cool as Richard. 

The bedroom life has even improved! You’ve gotten into roleplaying as coworkers. You didn’t pack business attire because your family owns a multi-million dollar company that you will become CEO at once you graduate from the University — you’re majoring in theatre arts. Your boyfriend quickly jumped at this, saying you could just wear Mater’s button-down shirt, tie, and khaki pants he left at your boyfriend’s dorm. He put on “After Midnight” by Chappell Roan to set the mood: you two did it, it was awesome, you loved it and your boyfriend loved it more. 

The night before the big day your boyfriend, Mater, and you met up to hang out and get drunk. Music was playing, the TV was on, and the Roomba was activated; the sensory overload was just right. After a couple hours, the Absolut vodka and Wawa lemonade mix were starting to effect everyone. The Spotify radio played “Naked in Manhattan” by Chappell Roan and the reaction was extraordinary. Your boyfriend and Mater got up, looked each other in the eye, danced, and sang the song word-for-word. You were amazed and impressed, they harmonized and sounded great! You can’t help but think that if they weren’t just friends this would’ve been extremely romantic! This moment made you realize how much you love your boyfriend, and you can’t wait to spend another 22-and-a-half-months with him.