Justice for the Little Sibling: Exposing the Dark Underbelly of DP Photo

Sept. 8th, 5:16 p.m. ET -

The University of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, PA, US

The anonymous tips were sent to Under The Button this January alleging misconduct within the Daily Pennsylvanian’s Department of Photography. Several whistleblowers within the department describe a situation in which a young boy has been exploited through his photographic prowess. 

We at Under the Button sought to confirm these allegations via a deep-cover investigation. We must withhold our methods of inquiry to safeguard the informants who assisted in the operation. What we can do is present our findings for the public good and in the hopes of ending these nefarious activities. 

February 14, 2024 – Trailing the alleged victim, we uncovered that during one evening, the young boy was seen photographing 47 events on campus. These include but are not limited to: Valentine’s Day Shin-Dig at The Woodlands, KCECH Masterpieces of Renaissance Art Seminar, a Men’s Basketball Game, Penn Outdoors Club Window Cleaning Summit, and The DP Spring Banquet. Without some sort of time travel, we suspect that this young boy is overworked, underfed, and underpaid. 

February 15, 2024 – Data from February 14th sent to statisticians at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology for analysis. 

February 27, 2024 – Upon receiving the statistician report, we concluded that foul play is afoot. 

March 2, 2024 – Armed with the cold hard facts, we sought out the identity of the alleged victim, so as to aid our humanitarian efforts. Through devising an elaborate sting operation wherein we masqueraded as Penn Women in Grilling, a pseudo campus group, we held a faux mixer, in desperate need of a skillful paparazzo. Upon the arrival of the young boy, we admitted our falsehood, offering him help in escaping his precarious situation. 

The young boy, now revealed to be E. Young (C’ 27), was initially confused, but seemed willing to cooperate. “Uh, I volunteered for DP Photo, and I seem to be doing a good job, so I am just trying to understand what this is all about,” E. Young was quoted as saying, sheepishly. 

May 12, 2024 – After months of tireless negotiations, we entered into a plea deal with DP Photo. The terms of the deal are as follows: 

1. E. Young (C’ 27) will be awarded minimum wage when not acting as a volunteer, the standard conditions of DP staff. 
2. E. Young (C’ 27) will be granted one (1) lunch break per work week (excluding weekends, including bank holidays). 
3. Under the Button will cease claims that DP Photo overworks staff and acknowledge that the last name “Young” does not correspond with age. 
   1. A public apology will NOT be provided. 
   2. A private apology WILL be provided. 
4. Under the Button will be shortlisted for The Pulitzer Prize for Investigative Reporting (2025). 
5. E. Young (C’ 27) will be shortlisted for The Pulitzer Prize for Feature Photography (2025). 

Under the Button is proud to have spearheaded the efforts to help E. Young (C’ 27) find his voice. Let this be a testament to the power of the little sibling. 

“I think they thought I was a child because my last name is Young. I’m actually 19 years old and all of this is volunteer work—like I don't have to be here,” E. Young (C’ 27) said, with a hint of confusion to his voice (also sheepishly).