Heartbreaking: No One Knew What “Owls” Was at This Student’s Internship

In a shocking turn of events, no one at this student’s internship knew – or cared – about “Owls” or any other of Penn’s off-Campus fraternities.  

Despite repeated attempts to explain the biblical awesomeness of a fraternity such as Owls, employees at the New Haven-based Venture Capital Firm maintained a complete lack of interest in their intern's Greek Life experience. The workers seemed indifferent toward Theos, constantly misunderstood the name Apes, and displayed complete and total confusion as to whatever it is Phi Roses does on campus. 

Trying to relate the off-campus fraternities to the New Haveners, the student reportedly compared them to Yale organizations, calling Owls the “Skull and Bones of the mid-Atlantic.” However colleagues–and generally anybody who happened to be listening–quickly realized this was false.